Happy New Year

Just a quick note to wish everyone a Happy and Healthy New year.

2010 is going to be the year we finally crush the weight battle we have all been on for years.

I am thankful for everyone's blogs out there. They have been so helpful for me in my journey to know that other people are going through the same ups and downs as I am. Reading them keeps me focused even if I have a bad day here or there.

Also just wanted to wish Vanessa good luck on Monday, you will do great. See you on the other side :-)

Duh!! Meant to say I am at 179lbs not 189lbs :-)

Week of ups and downs!!!

First of all I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. I am trying to catch up on everyones blogs as I had a crazy week down in Florida and didn't get a chance to do much reading.
So last Saturday went down to Florida for Christmas. My mum and dad 2 sisters and 1 brother all live down in Florida. I am the oldest. My parents have been together since they were 15 so I am 34 and my parents are still young ( dad 56 and mum 52 ) . Anyway so we have been through so much. my mum has been through cancer twice at such a young age. My dad has been having some problems with his vision and his dr sent him for a Cat scan of the brain. Well they discovered a mass/ lesion on the right side of his brain. If you can imagine the shock that we were in as my dad has always been healthy and the strong one. They discovered this on a Friday and was referred to a neurosurgeon for the diagnosis on the Tuesday so we had to go through 4 days of wondering what was going to happen and if my dad was going to die. Basically the surgeon said that there is part of it that looks suspicious but he could have had it there for a long time and maybe something that he has had for a while. They have decided to wait on a biopsy as anytime you go near the brain it is not a good thing. So they said they will watch him and have anther scan in 3 months to see if it changes...WTF I am not sure what to think about this. Yes I am glad that they do not think it is life threatening right now but wait for 3 months to see if it changes? Anyway so as you can imagine it was very stressful for a few days down there but Christmas day was great. Dad is feeling better after seeing the surgeon so we were able to have fun. Probably ate too much and drank too much but I did make my Christmas goal, actually surpassed it. I am not at 189 lbs woo hoo!!!! That is 45 down!!!
Well just a quick note as I am trying to get caught up at work so hope everyone is doing well
Take Care

Quick Update

So I went back to the drs today and had .25mls removed. I actually found out that I now have 5.85mls in my band. I am hoping that this does the trick as at 7am tomorrow I will be on a plane to Florida ( if the snow stays away as we are supposed to get 10 inches starting tomorrow late morning )

I also have lost 1 pound since Tuesday woo hoo

Anyway I am not sure if I will be able to update while in Florida so just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Have fun and be careful of the goodies :-)

Yana good luck on Tuesday all my fingers and toes are crossed for you.

Oh no too tight!!!

Ok so I had 1 teasspoon of mashed potatoes and 2 teaspoons of creamed spinach. Been stuck for 45 minutes and it is sore and slimey. Called drs , need to go get some taken out tomorrow before I leave. So mad!!! I guess I wanted restriction but not as tight as this.
So they are squeezing me in tomorrow with Frank, have not heard the best things about hi. Heard he is very nice but sore with the needle and me having a freaky port scares me. Oh no!!

Hmm fill

So I had a fill yesterday, .5 ml. I am obviously still on liquids but I am having feelings I have not had before with my fill. Yesterday all I had was 2 cups coffee and then last night had a cup of soup and managed to get half down and then though oh I am full ( yeah !!) but the weird thing is that I have more saliva in my mouth? Strange ? coincidence? i wont really know anything until i start mushies tomorrow but now I am getting a bit paranoid because what if I am too tight. I leave on Saturday for Florida for a week but what happens if I am too tight? Will I know when I start mushies? Hope so then that way I can run in Friday for a quick unfill but what if mushies go down fine and I have problems with solids? Aghh so confusing with my lucy. I guess all I will do is wait it out till Friday because I really think this is me at my sweet spot and don't want to get any taken out.
Does anyone else salivate more?

Love my drs scales

Hi all,
So I just got back from the doctors and according to their scales I have lost 6 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks. Woo hoo for me. I am so excited about that as this morning my scales were not co-operating with me so I was nervous to get weighed in today. Anyway so happy!!! My appointment was with Gasper but they have a new dr in the practice and they asked if I would mind if she did my fill under Gaspers supervision. Hmm no I don't as long as you don't hurt me and make sure you get the needle in the right place. Anyway she tried to get it in but because of my crazy port ( does flips etc and in a weird angle ) she couldn't. So gasper did it. He only gave me .5mls because he said I am losing great but I think my portions are still a little larger than what I want. So I am a happy camper and hopefully this is it for me.
Busy week this week, have so much work to do as I am going to be out all of next week. I head to Florida for Christmas on Saturday so I am trying to get everything I can wrapped up and then pass the rest of my jobs along to a colleague while I am gone. Gasper actually asked me if I was sure I wanted a fill before I went down there but I figure if I am too tight I can go back on Friday and have a little removed.
So also wanted to say what great time I had on Sunday at the NYC bandster brunch. It was so great to meet Catherine, Jen, Heather and Colleen. We had a couple of drinks and some great food and vowed to get together again soon.
Well if I don't get back on here before Christmas just wanted to wish you all a great holiday season and don't eat too much ( or drink too much )

Santa

So we decided to be brave the crazy crowd this year and go to Santaland at Macys. Wow is all I can say. The tourists are crazy around here. We were there at 10am when Macys opened. By the time we got up to the 8th floor there was already about 150 people in line. Not too bad though. In and out in 1 1/2 hours . So worth it to see the little man run up and give Santa a huge hug. Here is a pic

Busy Bee

So I have not posted for a while cause I have been so busy lately. This is my favourite time of year getting ready for Christmas and it is so great to see it through the eyes of a 2 1/2 year old. Telling him all about Santa and his reindeer's and sleigh. He has so many questions and you forget that these are all firsts for someone so little. He somewhat understands all about Santa and Christmas and he is so excited. I have to also remind him of the importance of the season not just Christmas but about baby Jesus being born. We are catholic and I try to get to mass every Sunday but it is hard . I know I know. So anyway I just love this time of year.

We put our Christmas tree up last weekend. It looks amazing. I have to put pics up. The smell of a real tree in the house just seems to put you in a better mood.

On the lap band front everything is going pretty well. The last fill I got I think has put me near if not at my sweet spot. I cant eat in the morning and I really really have to chew my food. The one thing I am still doing is eating most of my calories at night. I still stay around 1000-1200 calories but I wonder if it is hampering my weight loss by consuming them mostly at night? Thoughts?
I also have accepted the fact that I am goign to be a slow loser and that is ok. I try not to compare my weight loss with others and have to look on the positive. I lost 1.2 lbs this week and I think my average will be around that per week which is ok for me. I know that the more weight you have to lose, the faster it comes off in the beginning so I am happy with my 39 lb weight loss over all. Just about half way to goal for me I think.

Anyway have a great weekend

Mad going up Happy going down

You know I was thinking last night how obsessed we ( I ) am with the numbers on the scale and how perspective is a huge part of it. As you know I have been fat my whole life. I have lost significant amounts of weight before but never kept it off and never been normal weight, always overweight and never at goal weight. So I was thinking about how happy I was when I saw 187.4 on the scales last week. I was so happy and proud of myself blah blah and then I thought about when I saw it last, I was going upwards. My lowest weight I can recall was around 2005 at around 167 pounds. I met my husband and started gaining weight. I had a trip planned with my 2 friends to Thailand and was on Jenny Craig for the 500 millionth time. I remember weighing in at around 185 and being so upset at that number. So disappointed that I had gained so much weight and how could I do it after all my hard work blah blah. But now I was excited to see that number. Anyway probably just rambling but was just thinking about it.

So Cara ( who is soooo nice and an inspiration ) mentioned that I used the word mum and not mom which is what Americans use. Anyway I actually was born and raised in Scotland. My dads job transferred him from grey rainy Glasgow to Daytona Beach Florida when I was 12. Can you say the words culture shock? Anyway so I have been in America since I was 12. Funny thing is I actually ended up marrying a guy from Ireland. To confuse things even more I am Italian and from a huge Italian family in Glasgow. We get to go home to see everyone at least once a year which is great. I cant wait to go home next year when I will have lost my weight !!!

Have a good one

So I wanted to put a comparison pic up but I hate taking pictures so not a lot to choose from. One thing I am going to start doing is taking pictures especically with my family. I have shyed away from the camera for so long that even now that I have lost some weight it is hard to start wanting to take pics. Anyway so the left is a before ( 224 ish pounds ) and the right is around 190 pounds. I think I see a difference in my face.

Chocolate a mushie?

The title of the blog says it all. I wont go into details but because I had a fill on Friday I am on mushies yesterday and today. Can you guess what I ate yesterday? Yes I know I know....aghh self sabotage. We will just not speak of it again and will start anew today.

So Hi how was everyone weekend? We took our 2 1/2 year old to the movies for the first time on Saturday. It actually went pretty well. I figured the worst that could happen is that we would leave. So it was a lot of fun and he had tons of popcorn. He kept trying to share with mummy but since I was on liquids I would just let him put it in my mouth and slyly take it out.

Oh I guess I had a NSV this weekend. I don't own a belt. I always bought clothes that just fit ( maybe because I was trying to deny how big I really was ) so I never thought I had the need for a belt. SO my hubby has been on at me to buy a belt because my pants are getting to big and the gap when I sit down is getting bigger and bigger. So anyway I bought a belt this weekend !!! Size large :-) So I am very excited about that.

Hope everyone has a good week

How long to gain weight?

Last weekend I went a little crazy with the food and alcohol. I went to a friends pre Thanksgiving party. We all made a dish and had dinner together. I did really well on the dinner part, took a little bit of food and was satisfied. The problems started after the 3d vodka. The desserts came out and my mouth started drooling. One of my friends made these deliciously evil little things called peanut butter balls that were basically cookie, peanut butter and then lathered in chocolate. Now granted they are small but that doesn't help when you eat like 5 of them. They were so good and so bad at the same time. I woke up on Sunday morning with a little hangover and of course regret again for eating so many. This brings me to a thought I had, how long does it take to gain the weight if you have had a bad eating day or 2? Does it come on the next morning? When does it show up on the scale? How long does it take to turn into fat? Official weigh day for me tomorrow and I am hoping to have no gain, am not expecting a loss but just don't want to see a gain.
I have been really good since Monday and going to the gym so fingers crossed for me. I just keep thinking about my goal...to be at 180 for Christmas ( 9 pounds ). I love the holiday season but there are so many party's and so many chances to screw up. I will just keep the goal in mind and I will make it. Have a good one

Scale is my friend this week

So yesterday was my weigh in day and I like my scale :-) I am down to 189 pounds. I am actually thinking I may make my goal of 180 by Christmas. That was the good news. Now of course I have been so busy at work the last 2 days and have not been able to go to the gym so the calories I usually burn will not be burned :-( That's ok though its been a nightmare at work so I will just have to do extra at the gym next week ( My only time to go to the gym is Mon - Fri at lunch as at the weekend it is family time ).
So I am going out on Sat night and I know I will be drinking some nice wine. Want to make sure I do not go overboard though as the calories will add up so I am hoping to just try and have fun without getting too drunk :-)
My fill is scheduled for next Friday and I think I am going to get one. I feel my restriction easing off a little bit from last week but who knows? This lapband is so confusing me but I am trying
Anyway so slammed so this is short and sweet . Have a great weekend

Love Salmon

Ok so anyone that is the NYC area ( I am not sure of they have them all over the country? world?) you have to try my favorite lunch of all time . I get the salmon salad from Pret A Manger. It is soooo good. It is 200 calories plus whatever dressing you use. You get a big piece of salmon and it is so fresh. Anyway just though I would recommend that to everyone as I am sitting here eating it right now.
I know everyone says it, but "lucy" is so fickle. One day she will let me eat bread and the next day she wont. Some days I will be starving for breakfast and some days like today I wasn't hungry so first thing I am eating is now at 2:30pm. My doctor always said If you are not hungry, don't eat. This goes against all the "diets" that I have knows. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, eat 6 small meals etc lah blah blah but I guess I am going to go with what my doctor says. Of course all the while trying to get your protein in and water etc. I think it should be ok because I vary my calorie intake every day. Some days I am at 800 some days I am at 1300 but I think my goal is 1000-1200 calories per day. Who knows? As long as I am not hungry and losing weight then whatever works works. Weigh in day on Thursday. I think I am looking forward to it as I had a sneek peak on Sunday but don't want to say it out loud or write it down as last time I weighed before my scheduled day I showed a loss and then the next day a gain so trying to stick to once a week.
My restriction is good I think. The only thing is that i don't get what people call "soft stops". Some people sneeze or their nose starts running. I go from eating ok and not full to "ouch" there is something there so I shouldn't eat anymore. I don't PB or slime or anything so I am wondering if that is my soft stop. As long as it is not hurting anything I can deal with it. I will mention it to the doctor next week when I see him.
Anyway week is going by slow. Can you believe it is only Tuesday?
My munchkin is just getting over a cold so he should be back to normal soon.
I swear reading everyones blog is so addicting. I sit at work and read blogs all day. I have to stop because I am not getting any work done. Well speaking of work, I have a meeting soon so better go.
Hope everyone is well

Big Step out of the shadows

Hi so big step for me finally posted a pic of me and my munchkin.....

Cant Move!!

So I have a variety of subjects to talk about today. Lets get to the good news. I think I have restriction. I got a fill last Friday and started reg food on Tuesday. I think I am eating less and getting full faster. I know that I have to chew and have had the feeling a couple of times in my chest, the feeling that it is not necessarily stuck but a little sore and know I can not eat any more. Is this being stuck? Is this PBing? I have never thrown up had a little foam once from some tortilla chips ( lesson learned ). So I am not sure if I am at my sweet spot but I definitely have restriction. The past 2 mornings I did not feel like eating breakfast so I didn't and I was fine. This morning I was hungry so I had one of the Jimmy Dean light Breakfast croissant thingies. It is turkey sausage egg white and low fat cheese on a low fat croissant. It is 290 calories and 19 grams of protein. I was able to eat the whole thing slow and I am full. Is that normal? Anyway I think I am happy for now but will keep my appointment for 11/19 for another fill and just see how it goes.
yesterday I had a free session with a personal trainer at my gym. Let me just start by saying this guys arm was bigger than my head so I was like omg he is going to kill me here. When he asked me my weight ( you know I cringe at that ) I said 195 and he said" really???? you don't look like you weigh that much" uhm ok I think that is a compliment?? So he then was telling me he lost 50 pounds, of course my first reaction is to say congratulations, and he was like uhm I dropped the weight for a competition ( he is a body builder ) and I will put it back on afterwards . So ok great start. Well let me tell you I have never been so close to passing out in my life. He worked me like I was some skinny 120 pound girl that lives at the gym. He had me doing push ups, pull ups, boxing, weights all sorts of crazy stuff. It lasted 45 minutes although it felt like 45 days. So today I can not even walk. My butt feels like it has been crunched and my abs feel like I did a million push ups. So I am glad I did it but omg I am hurting today.
So today is my official weigh day.... I stood on the scale like 10 times and it said the same number. 191.6 :-) really? OMG so happy.
Please god make this number stick and go down from here. I am trying.
Oh last thing on my mind. I go on LBT and smartbandsters to read everyones posts and it really bothers me sometimes that people are so negative to others that have maybe slipped up or are having problems. One guy was wondering if he had restriction and said something like he can eat 3 pieces of pizza and bread or something like that. Well yes we all know pizza is not the best food and we all know that bread has lots of calories etc but some people were yelling at him saying " Why are you eating pizza, you are never supposed to that. And white bread? white rice? that is never ever ever allowed blah blah blah" Cant we all be supportive in a nice way and not make the guy feel any worse than he already does? jeez people
Anyway think that's it for now.
For anyone that cares...Yeah Yankees!!!!

Feeling Blah

So I know why I am feeling blah. I am feeling guilty. I ate 4 of the mini size candy bars last night from Halloween. I could say that it was ok because I didn't eat lunch or because I am on my TOM but its not ok. I mean I know that this is not a diet and I know I will not deprive myself of anything but it is the fact that I ate 4. Then I feel guilty and think how can you sabotage yourself this way. Its crazy but I am not going to harp on it. I went to the gym today and skipped breakfast deliberately although I wasn't really hungry anyway. I will move on and continue.
So I have set some goals for myself. I think they are ambitious but I will try and meet them. I want to lose 14 pounds by Christmas. after that 14 pounds I want to lose 20 pounds by March. Ok so wait a minute I need to tell you my weight. Nobody knows this apart from the doctors etc. I have never told anyone my weight before as I was so ashamed. It reminds me of when I was in the hospital with all my complications. My mum and my husband was there in the room with me and one of the many doctors came in to ask me the trillions of questions they need to. So of course they got to the question " How much to you weigh?" without saying anything my mum and my hubby got up and walked out of the room and the doctor looked at me and laughed and said" You have them trained well" It was funny because they know me so well and that I would not be able to say it in front of them. So here goes.....My initial weight was 224 pounds. My last weight at the doctors office was 194.4 pounds. So back to what I was saying. I want to weight 180 pounds by Christmas and 160 pounds by March. My goal weight is 140 pounds but I want to get pregnant next year. I am not sure if I want to weight until I get to 140 pounds so my goal pregnancy weight would be 160 pounds. Wow kind of feels ok to say my weight out loud. I cant wait to tell my husband that I weigh the same as him ( he is 6"1 and 160 lbs ).
I will tell my family eventually what I weighed but 224 pounds but right now its too close . By the way I am only 5'2.
Maybe soon I will be ready to post some pictures of myself.
Well onwards and upwards or in our case downwards we go.

Poke Poke Poke ...Interesting

So just had my second fill yeah!!! According to their scales I am down 2.6lbs in 2 weeks which is not bad ( especially since I havent really had any restriction yet ). I am down a little more according to mine but that's ok.
So my last fill no problem, in and out. This time Ann the PA was poking me trying to feel for my port and apparently my port is very fluid!!! She said that my port can do a 360 inside of me. Of course this about freaked me out as I have heard all the stories about flipped ports and how they have to go back into surgery ect. She told me its ok it should not be a problem ha. I think she realised I was a little freaked out since I have already been in surgery 4 times since the start of my journey in July. She told me don't worry about it you wont have to have it flipped back it just does flips inside of me ...anyway so I had 4cc in there and she gave me another 2 cc. Went out to drink some water and it kinda got stuck in my throat and was a little painful so she said I was probably too tight so she took me back to the room and took out some. I am not sure how much she took out. I am hoping that this may be the one that gets me to restriction fingers crossed.
Ugh but can I tell you, I am hungry. I know I have to be on 2 days of liquids and 2 days of mushies and it should not be a problem but since next week will be my TOM I am just so hungry today.
Well I hope you all have a great Halloween and don't get tempted too much by the candy and chocolate out there.
Cant wait to take my little one out trick or treating. It is his first time so I am really excited. Trying to get the hubby to dress up ha

NSV :-)

Isn't it so weird the bigger you are the longer you stay in certain size clothes??? For example I am still wearing size 1 Lane Bryant jeans, 3 weeks ago I bought a size 14 DKYNY pair of jeans and they fit and today my NSV.....I fit into my old size 12 Tommy Hilfiger jeans ( these were from a period of about 6 months when I lost 60 pounds ). Now they are probably supposed to be baggy fit and on me they look like they are painted on but I can wear them. I can breathe in them so I am taking it as a NSV. It is just so weird how I can still fit into all sizes and most of my clothes that are 16-18. I don't get it but of course they are a lot looser and are close to being removed from my closet.
I had a good day yesterday, went to gym worked out for an hour during lunch. I am getting used to it now but the thought of going for the rest of my life depresses me.
Do you know what drives me insane though? Night eating!!! I do so good during the day ( I am not at restriction so I can pretty much eat anything I want )and then after I get the little one down at night I want to eat...I am trying to figure out the head hunger versus real hunger or if I am just eating just because. But between 8pm and 10pm I am constantly in the kitchen. Now granted I wont eat the snickers bars but I will eat the 100 calorie snacks which is ok unless you eat 3 of them!! That is what i have to work on. Maybe I should start going to bed with my little one .
Weigh in day tomorrow. Nervous. But no matter what the scale says I can feel my body change so I am happy
Have a good one!!!

Scale - Friend or Foe?

So I hate the scale, I always have. With all the millions of diets I have been on in my life I never liked the damn thing even when I was loosing weight. I mean there would be times were I knew I was bad and expected a gain or no loss and you accept that but when you know you have been doing all the right things and you would be excited to get on the scale to see the results and nothing would happen I would be devastated. What is the first thing I would do? Eat chocolate!!! I used to be like, whatever I tried it didn't work so why am I even trying any more and I would just eat what I wanted. If I don't see results I give up. This is the biggest change that I am trying to make within myself. I feel like I am trying to do all the right things and know that if I stick to it, it will work. I mean I hate the gym, and when I say hate I mean would rather be doing anything else in the world than be there at that moment in time. But I signed up for the gym about a month ago and have been going every day during lunch. What gets me through it is I bring a book and I walk on the treadmill and read for 40 minutes. This is one of the only times I am by myself as I work full time and have a 2 year old so at lunch at the gym is also supposed to be a relaxing time for me. At first I was thinking that walking for 40 minutes on the treadmill ( I also do some of the weight machines for 10 minutes afterwards for my arms ugh don't get me started on my arms ) was an easy way out but I burn about 185 calories in that 40 minutes and it gets my butt moving so at least it is something.I actually attempted to run for about 2 minutes yesterday but thought I was going to collapse so went back to walking. Anyway the whole point of it is that I weigh myself on Thursday mornings only. I dread it. If I see a loss I am the happiest person on the earth If I don't then I feel like a failure. I have 2 days before my weigh in and I think I should be ok but I am so nervous. I have to stop. This is a way of life and as long as I keep doing what I am doing and get some restriction it will work.
3 days until my fill yeah !!!

Lucy

So had a great weekend. My sister ( 15 ) and her friend were up for the weekend so we had a lot of fun. We went to see Paranormal Activity on Friday night which was such a great movie, Scared the crap out of me. Cant believe it was made for 15k. Walked around Time Square in Saturday. I love that place, doesn't matter that I live here I still get excited with everything going on in Times Square. Although I wish that tourists would understand it is not ok to stop in the middle of the sidewalk to take pictures, people move to the left or to the right!!!
We went to the Titanic exhibit which was really cool. Then down to Chinatown to buy purses and lunch in little Italy. Overall a great weekend.
I think I may be feeling some restriction now. I am not sure. I mean I can still eat way too much at a time but it takes me 4-5 hours before being hungry again. I think I may have a problem with English muffins. I usually eat the egg white and cheese english muffin from DD. I felt some pressure a couple of times when I was eating it but did not PB. Maybe I just need to chew more? I don't know still trying to figure this out. I go for my 2nd fill on Friday which I can not wait for :-) I know I ate way too much this weekend but hopefully all the walking helped. Back to the gym today!!
Anyway the funniest thing. I named my lapband Lucy ( I name everything ) so when we were out on Saturday my sister saw this T shirt that said I love Lucy and a picture of a skeleton on it. I had to have it. Now by no means do I want to be a skeleton but I thought how appropriate for me so I bought it. It was only $5.
Well it is Monday so the week starts again!!

Can I be a blogger?

So where do I start? I am not sure that I am a blogger but have been inspired by reading so many wonderful blogs out there that I think I should start my own. I don't think it is really about anyone else reading it because I am not even sure if I want anyone I know to read my thoughts but I am going to give it a try anyway.
I have a lapband. I am a bariatric patient. I never thought that I would be I mean I have been fat my whole life, and I mean my whole life but I always thought of surgery as something so drastic and that would have to mean admitting to the outside world that I knew I was fat and that I had a problem with it. Now don't get me wrong people are not blind and I am certainly not stupid but I always kind of made a joke about it and my personality was always so strong that even my mum was surprised that I really hated being fat so much. Anyway so I decided in June to look into surgery. I did lots of research online and found out what the lap band was all about. I am lucky to live in NYC where there are great doctors who have been doing this for years. I researched and decided that I would go to Dr Fielding at NYU mostly because he has a lap band himself. I go the surgery on July 31st and let me tell you it was nothing like I had expected. I wont go int o all the details but basically had the surgery on Friday, went home sat morning, bleeding from wound would not stop so I went back to the ER on Sunday morning. was in the ER from 6am until 6pm. Doctors tried to open the wound and stop the bleeding but to no avail. Kept in overnight, went back to the OR then next day and surgeon could not see where the bleeding was coming from so he closed me back up. Left hospital Monday night. Bleeding continued. Back to drs office Tues morning and he looked again and couldnt see where it was coming from. Woke up Wednesday covered in blood so back to the hospital again. They kept me overnight and then put a couple of additional stitches in. Yeah bleeding stopped. Went to drs one week later and the wound was infected. So back to surgery to remove the port. So from 08/13-10/2 had not port in. Back to surgery 10/2 to get port back in. First fill on 10/15. Wounds are all healed and am ready to really start the journey. I am actually down about 28 pounds so far which is not bad I think. After all o ft hat do I regret getting the surgery??? NO!! Because I know I will get there I know I will feel restriction and I know I will lose the weight this time for good. I have to. This is the last resort people. If I can not lose weight after taking such a drastic measure then someone up there is really messing with me.
So I want to document my journey, should have probably started earlier but oh well. As you can probably tell ( if anyone is actually reading this ) my thoughts are all over the place.
A little about me. I am 34 years old ( really? ) and I have a wonderful husband and the most amazing son you can imagine. He is 2 1/2 years old and the love of my life. I cant wait to have more kids. I live in NYC , have done for the past 9 years and love it.
I am not sure what this blog will be about and even if I will keep it up but hey what do I have to loose.
So for now I will sign off as I better get some work done. Hope you have a good day. ( who am I saying that to? )