Friday, October 1, 2010

Been gone so long So many thoughts!!

Hi all,

It feels like forever and honestly it has been...months. There has been so many things going on and so many thoughts and feelings that I probably wont be able to get to them all but I know I need to blog to just get some of these thoughts down and out of my head.

First things first...As far as the pregnancy over all, it is going great!!! I am 6 months pregnant and we decided to find out what we were having. Now with Liam we didn't and I am not a big advocate of finding out the sex of the baby before they are born but we decided ( while I was getting my sonogram ) that yes we would find out as Liam wanted to know if he was having a brother or sister and in all honesty I still have everything from Liam so if it was a boy I could get everything out and if it was a girl I would have to start shopping. So anyway we are having a ....... BOY!!!!!!!!! Lord help me another little boy running around my house!! Ha no I am very happy and so are my boys at home. As I said to my husband, we are not stopping until we have a girl so if I have to have 6 children then so be it :-) He is healthy and does not stop moving around and I cant wait to meet him. I have no idea on what name we are going to pick...seriously have to get down to business. Anyway as I said super healthy baby, feeling great physically and cant wait to hold this precious baby in my arms.

Now on to the physcological craziness of pregnancy and gaining weight!!!! When I found out I was pregnant of course the 1st thing I thought was oh shit!! weight gain. I decided not to stress about it ( or try not to ) and was doing ok with that until the past few weeks.

First of all when I went in for my doc appt in August, when I was leaving, the doc ( not my usual one ) said just watch the weight gain, you have gained 5 pounds this month...I about freaked out then because I was like wsit a way, at that point I had only gained 8 pounds in total ( 16 weeks pregnant ) so I pulled the nurse to the side and said can you look back at the 2 past appts to see what they had down for me..anyway come to find out that they had my starting weight wrong, by about 7 pounds lighter than I was. Of course I was freaking and everyone was like don't worry about it you are fine but they would not change my weight on the chart!!

Now I am sorry but I worked so hard to gain only 8 pounds and they were showing a weight gain of 15 so it did bother me but I tried to let it go.

Sept appt doing good, only gained 3 pounds total of 11 in my book and of course 17 for them but oh well.

Then the band!!! One night I drink something and I am in so much pain that I want to cry, next day I tried to eat something and the pain is unbearable. I went like this for 3 days freaking out that I had done something to the band. Anyway decided to go to band doc. I end up seeing the new band doc who decides to take 3 cc's out my band, great right??? Instant relief!!! That was on 09/10.

OK for anyone that has had the band a while ( a year for me ) and does not really eat anything in the morning and usually eats a cup of food or so, when you get 3cc removed it is like WTF!!! I felt hungry, I mean hungry, real nunger for the first time in a year so I went a little crazy I admit, I ate bagels for breakfast..bagels at 8am ?? Ar you kidding me? I haven't had an untoasted bagel in a year....but I could eat this at 8am!! I had bread for lunch, I had bread for although I was glad I could eat anything and as much of it as I wanted i knew I was going to be in trouble...I decided to bite the bullet and call band drs office to see if they would give me some of a fill back.
I knew that my best shot was Gasper or Dr Fielding as the other drs are more like ok eat while you are pregnant don't worry about it and we will fill you up again when you have the baby but Gasper and Fielding are like ok don't get it taken out unless you have to. Long story short( little late for that I know ) I get there, have gained 9 POUNDS!! in 3 weeks, Gasper almost died too!!! He gave me 1.5 back and said come back if you want more!!

Now lets analyze this..I am 24 weeks pregnant, have gained 20 pounds in weight(not too crazy but little crazy ) and my OB doc is going to think I gained 27 lbs. So here I am freaking out and wondering how I am going to loose at least 3 pounds before I get back to my OB doc in a week so she doesn't see how much I have gained Whew!!! That was long and tough to write and probably sounds crazy to you but trust me it is such a mind F&*K to gain weight and see the scale creep up after you have fought for so long to take it off.

Anyway if you are still reading !! ( WAKE UP ) I also wanted to say how I wish I had made it to BOOBS!! It looks like you had so much fun and I am so jealous that I did not get to meet you all. I have met some of the amazing NYC bandsters ( when are we doing Dos Caminos again ?) and I cant wait to meet the rest of you.

Everyone is doing so well on this journey, and it is a journey and I know mine will being again next year bit am glad I can share these feeling with you as you are the only ones who could really understand

Keep up the good work everyone!!!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Attn NYC Bandsters

Does anyone want / need an appointment with Dr Fielding this Thursday August 12th at 12:40pm? I have one but need to cancel it and I know sometimes it is hard to get an appt with him.
Let me know

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Please note!!

That my ticker will remain at 66lbs lost during my whole pregnancy!!! I will not be changing it as I gain weight :-)

Anyway just had to say that :-) Crazy day today

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

First Pics of my baba :-)

Hi all,

How are you? Seems like everyone is doing pretty well.

Things here are going well too.

On Monday we had our tests for Downs and Trisomy 18. Everything came out well so that is definitely a relief. It was so funny because they have to get a measurement at the back of the neck and it took the tech about 30 minutes because the baby would not stay still. It was amazing he / she was waving at us putting their thumb in their mouth, kicking and jumping around. It was so funny but the tech was getting a bit pissed off ha.
I just have to say ( don't want to sound too cheesy ) it is such a miracle. I mean baby is only about 2 1/2 inches long and you can see all this stuff so clearly and fully formed it is just amazing !!. Anyway pics are below. Oh and baby is measuring 1 week and 2 days bigger than I am ...lord help me ha

On band related news. I will repeat again that pregnancy hunger is a bitch!!! I am always hungry!! which is so weird after 9 months of not feeling any hunger. I am still tight in the mornings but I have to physically stop myself from eating at night. It is crazy!! I am doing ok on the WEIGHT GAIN I suppose, up 5-6lbs. As I said trying not to freakout over it but it is hard..My hubby and my mum are all over me to make sure I eat and don't turn into a freak about every ounce I gain.

I know it will all come off but again psychologically, pregnancy is hard for someone with the lap band, Now don't get me wrong, if I had to gain a million pounds to have a healthy baby I would so I hope I don't sound selfish but just hard to come to grips with.

Good thing I have not had any heartburn or serious PB's. I think I have only thrown up once this whole time but that is because I shoved a chicken salad sandwich in my mouth including 2 slices of bread and wondered why I was stuck ha

Anyway hope all is well. My little sis gets in town tonight, so excited. We will be at the bandster brunch on Sunday so look forward to seeing everyone there.

Take Care and Keep up the good work

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Stuffing my face as I write this...

Hey all,
How is everyone doing? Hoep everyone is doing well out there. It seems to be people are getting closer and closer to their goal weight which is awesome. The only sad thing about that I think is that maybe people will tend to blog less when hey reach it?? I suppose it is all a cycle leaving room for new banded bloggers out there. Anyway just wanted to say hope everyone is doing well.

In teh land of pregnancy with the band everything is going ok. I had an appt with Dr Fielding last Tuesday ( lap band doc ) and 1st of all he said I looked amazing !! He probably says that to all the girls :-) First thing I said to him was " Before I get on the scale I am 2 montsh pregnant so don't freak out about my weight!! ) Like he is the one freaking out? Anyway still showed a loss from my last appointment 2 1/2 months ago, thanks god he didn't ask me how much I had gained since my recorded low. Anyway we talked about the pregnancy and the band and how the hunger had appeared out of nowhere like a vengeance. I told him it feels like it had been building up for the past 8 montsh and all re appeared in the past 8 weeks. He said that due to hormones my hunger will fluctuate. He said take the band on its merit separate from the pregnancy and as Long as I can still eat I am fine. I was actually having trouble for the prior 4 days before seeing him about getting stuck so I decided to get some fill taken out. He took out the last fill I had gotten back in January. I am going back to see him in August to see what happens. AS you an imagine with some of the fluid taken out the hunger has gotten worse and I am eating like a crazy person but I am trying to eat like a crazy healthy person, For example as the title of my post suggests I am stuffing my face right now but it is being stuffed with a salad of romaine, dry tuna, mozarella, egg whites and turkey bacon so could be being stuffed with pizza right? right? right? anyway i am trying t behave but obviously am eating more than before. Trying nto to stress as the numbers on the scale inch up. Jenny suggested I may want to put a pregnancy weight gain ticker on my blog aghhh!!! no!!! would die seeing those numbers everyday.

Anyway so officially I am 8 weeks 5 days pregnant, Had first official appt with my OB yesterday and we got to see the munchkin on the sonogram. Still looks like a little blob right now but watching the heartbeat was amazing. It is so unreal, this baby is less than an inch big but the little heartbeat was strong as anything!!!
we have told our extended families now and close friends but still not shouting it to the world until I hit 12 weeks!!

Had a great time in DC, even sober I had a blast out dancing with my girls and gays until 3am!!

Keep up the good work ladies!!!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Girls and Gays

Hi all,
How is everyone? Still trying to keep up with everyones blogs although not much commentign from me lately.
So I am 7 weeks today woo hoo , still 2 weeks away from my 1st ultrasound. I am so nervous about this pregnancy for some reason and just cant wait to see my little love bug is ok. So pregnancy and the band....what band? Yes lucy is still in there I beleive however the band is NOOOO match to pregnancy hormones / hunger. It is crazy!! I have never been able to eat in the mornign and that has remained the same, just drinking water and coffee ( decaf ) to get me through the mornign and not hungry whcih is fine. However when I put the 1st morsel of food in my mouth holy crap!! it is a never ending pit in there. Since I had the band the best thing has been I am never hungry, like even when I was not at perfect restriction by issue was the amount of food not any hunger because I was never hungry. Now for the 1st time in like 9 months I am hungry all the time. I am tryign to limit on my own the amount of food and have not had many pb's but wow iots soo weird. I have to admit I have gained 2.4 lbs aghh!!!! but I guess not too bad although I know I have to get myself in check. I feel like I am using the pregnancy as an excuse to eat more snacks too ( uhm chocholate anyone !! ) so I will have to reel that in
I have an appt with my band dr on Tuesday but I dont think I will get any fill taken out just yet, pulease!!
Anyway other than that I feel exhausted all the time!! I so wish I did not have to work. Only 33 weeks to go ha
Keep up the good work ladies!!

P.S. Posted this and then realized the title did not make sense. I forgot I was going to tell you I am off to DC tomorrow for a girls and gays weekend. I cant wait, we have all been friends since we were 12 and its not often we get to hang out together. Although we still have not told anyone about me being pregnant I know that I will not survive the 1st 5 minutes without my friedns knowing. "Carla would you like a glass of wine? No thanks. Carla why are you not smoking? Uhm just cause..Ok Carla whatever you are pregnant!!! This is how the conversation will go "

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

So weird not to weigh myself

Hi all,
How are you doing? Seems like everyone seems to be doing well these days!! some ups and downs that are normal but everyone seems to be keeping up the good fight.

So now that I have had time to digest the news of my pregnancy I decided that I am still going to blog about my band. I know that for some of us one of the major reasons to get the band was to have an easier time getting pregnant, or just the ability to get pregnant or to have a healthy pregnancy. I know that my 1st question to the dr before I decided on the band was can I get pregnant? Is there any danger to the baby? And if there had been any hesitation I would not have chosen to go forward with the surgery. Anyway so I am going to post about the ups and the downs and being pregnant with the band.

Last week I was so tight I could hardly get anything down. this week, hello are you still there band? I am trying to eat healthier and eat about 1500 calories a day for the weird to try and eat more food and not just food but substantial food.

I am trying not to weigh myself. Of course I am thrilled about being pregnant but sometimes I freak out because I think wow I worked so hard to loose this weight and was so close to goal and now the scale is going to go up. I know rationally that I will loose the weight again after the baby but trying to comprehend that the scale WILL NOT be going down for the next 9 months or so is kidna scary. I know it sounds selfish but I was just feeling really comfortable in my clothes and just started fitting it to size 8 ( yes I said size 8 ) which I never have worn ever!! Anyway as I said please don't think I am being selfish but it is just some feelings I am having.

It is weird too because I have not told anyone at work and by the afternoon I have the huge pregnancy bloat belly so I wonder if they are looking at me saying oh there she goes again she lost weight and is putting it right back on ha.

My 1st doctors appt is not until June 21st ( they don't see you until you are 8 weeks or so pregnant and I am only 4 weeks 3 days ). It is so weird because I know I am pregnant but cant wait to actually hear the heartbeat and then it will seem real.

I am drinking my water and going to the gym 2-3 times a week still just to keep fit.
Oh and on top of all that I was a smoker ( have been for 19 years except for the year I quit with my last pregnancy and then stupidly had one when he was 3 months and started back up again ). So obviously as soon as the stick was positive I quit smoking. So talk about severe withdrawal aghhH!!!

I have rambled on enough. Keep up the good work everyone!!!

P.S. If you have decided to sign off from my blog no problem, I wish you all the best on your journey!!