Been gone so long So many thoughts!!

Hi all,

It feels like forever and honestly it has been...months. There has been so many things going on and so many thoughts and feelings that I probably wont be able to get to them all but I know I need to blog to just get some of these thoughts down and out of my head.

First things first...As far as the pregnancy over all, it is going great!!! I am 6 months pregnant and we decided to find out what we were having. Now with Liam we didn't and I am not a big advocate of finding out the sex of the baby before they are born but we decided ( while I was getting my sonogram ) that yes we would find out as Liam wanted to know if he was having a brother or sister and in all honesty I still have everything from Liam so if it was a boy I could get everything out and if it was a girl I would have to start shopping. So anyway we are having a ....... BOY!!!!!!!!! Lord help me another little boy running around my house!! Ha no I am very happy and so are my boys at home. As I said to my husband, we are not stopping until we have a girl so if I have to have 6 children then so be it :-) He is healthy and does not stop moving around and I cant wait to meet him. I have no idea on what name we are going to pick...seriously have to get down to business. Anyway as I said super healthy baby, feeling great physically and cant wait to hold this precious baby in my arms.

Now on to the physcological craziness of pregnancy and gaining weight!!!! When I found out I was pregnant of course the 1st thing I thought was oh shit!! weight gain. I decided not to stress about it ( or try not to ) and was doing ok with that until the past few weeks.

First of all when I went in for my doc appt in August, when I was leaving, the doc ( not my usual one ) said just watch the weight gain, you have gained 5 pounds this month...I about freaked out then because I was like wsit a minute..no way, at that point I had only gained 8 pounds in total ( 16 weeks pregnant ) so I pulled the nurse to the side and said can you look back at the 2 past appts to see what they had down for me..anyway come to find out that they had my starting weight wrong, by about 7 pounds lighter than I was. Of course I was freaking and everyone was like don't worry about it you are fine but they would not change my weight on the chart!!

Now I am sorry but I worked so hard to gain only 8 pounds and they were showing a weight gain of 15 so it did bother me but I tried to let it go.

Sept appt doing good, only gained 3 pounds total of 11 in my book and of course 17 for them but oh well.

Then the band!!! One night I drink something and I am in so much pain that I want to cry, next day I tried to eat something and the pain is unbearable. I went like this for 3 days freaking out that I had done something to the band. Anyway decided to go to band doc. I end up seeing the new band doc who decides to take 3 cc's out my band, great right??? Instant relief!!! That was on 09/10.

OK for anyone that has had the band a while ( a year for me ) and does not really eat anything in the morning and usually eats a cup of food or so, when you get 3cc removed it is like WTF!!! I felt hungry, I mean hungry, real nunger for the first time in a year so I went a little crazy I admit, I ate bagels for breakfast..bagels at 8am ?? Ar you kidding me? I haven't had an untoasted bagel in a year....but I could eat this at 8am!! I had bread for lunch, I had bread for dinner...so although I was glad I could eat anything and as much of it as I wanted i knew I was going to be in trouble...I decided to bite the bullet and call band drs office to see if they would give me some of a fill back.
I knew that my best shot was Gasper or Dr Fielding as the other drs are more like ok eat while you are pregnant don't worry about it and we will fill you up again when you have the baby but Gasper and Fielding are like ok don't get it taken out unless you have to. Long story short( little late for that I know ) I get there, have gained 9 POUNDS!! in 3 weeks, Gasper almost died too!!! He gave me 1.5 back and said come back if you want more!!

Now lets analyze this..I am 24 weeks pregnant, have gained 20 pounds in weight(not too crazy but little crazy ) and my OB doc is going to think I gained 27 lbs. So here I am freaking out and wondering how I am going to loose at least 3 pounds before I get back to my OB doc in a week so she doesn't see how much I have gained Whew!!! That was long and tough to write and probably sounds crazy to you but trust me it is such a mind F&*K to gain weight and see the scale creep up after you have fought for so long to take it off.

Anyway if you are still reading !! ( WAKE UP ) I also wanted to say how I wish I had made it to BOOBS!! It looks like you had so much fun and I am so jealous that I did not get to meet you all. I have met some of the amazing NYC bandsters ( when are we doing Dos Caminos again ?) and I cant wait to meet the rest of you.

Everyone is doing so well on this journey, and it is a journey and I know mine will being again next year bit am glad I can share these feeling with you as you are the only ones who could really understand

Keep up the good work everyone!!!