**** Dont know why these posted up top but anyways. Hopefully you can tell the 1st 3 pics are now and the bottom 3 are before :-)
So I am terrible at keeping track of my weight loss in weeks but I have gone through my blogs and tried to get an accurate picture of what I am doing. I will post number below.
I have been thinking lately ( scary I know ) and reading Amys blog ( or was it her vlog ) the other day about perception of ourselves and that made me think about where I am mentally.
As you may remember I was at my lowest weight ever probably back in 2002 after being on Jenny Craig for the 10 millionth time. That is when I met my husband. Over the past 7 years or so ( and one pregnancy later ) I was at my heaviest of 224 pounds. I basically gained about 50 lbs. Throughout that time I knew it was happening and obviously so did everyone around me. I tried to hide it and wouldn't talk about it but it was happening. Now when I was at 224 pounds I was "ALL OVER" fat. You cant hide it when you are that big so I did not really think oh my butt is big or my thighs are tree trunks or my arms are huge, my whole body was big!!! Now as I am beginning to feel "somewhat normal" I think I stand out more. Now try and follow me on this one, I was fat all over so in my mind people on the street just saw a big fat person. Now I feel like I stand out More because in my mind people on the street see oh look at her arms , they are huge or her thighs are huge or her whatever is huge. I feel like it is more of a dissection of my body in certain parts because I fall into an in between category. She is not a big fat person and she is not normal. I have probably confused you because I am confusing myself. Anyway so I think I stick out more now if you know what I mean. I know this is mostly in my mind. It has to be!! I don't exactly know what my point is but I just wanted to say it ( and please no one be offended by the "fat" word because that is not a bad word to me , its true ). I just hope at some point I will feel normal...
Anyway I wanted to post some progress pics but my ability to feel comfortable in front of the camera is only slowly coming around. Here are some I have. Oh yeah right numbers. See below
Banded 07/31 224
Port removal infection dram etc 07/31-10/2
04/08 162.8 ( new low )