Thursday, April 8, 2010

Numbers for Gen, some thoughts and pics

**** Dont know why these posted up top but anyways. Hopefully you can tell the 1st 3 pics are now and the bottom 3 are before :-)

Hi all,
So I am terrible at keeping track of my weight loss in weeks but I have gone through my blogs and tried to get an accurate picture of what I am doing. I will post number below.
I have been thinking lately ( scary I know ) and reading Amys blog ( or was it her vlog ) the other day about perception of ourselves and that made me think about where I am mentally.
As you may remember I was at my lowest weight ever probably back in 2002 after being on Jenny Craig for the 10 millionth time. That is when I met my husband. Over the past 7 years or so ( and one pregnancy later ) I was at my heaviest of 224 pounds. I basically gained about 50 lbs. Throughout that time I knew it was happening and obviously so did everyone around me. I tried to hide it and wouldn't talk about it but it was happening. Now when I was at 224 pounds I was "ALL OVER" fat. You cant hide it when you are that big so I did not really think oh my butt is big or my thighs are tree trunks or my arms are huge, my whole body was big!!! Now as I am beginning to feel "somewhat normal" I think I stand out more. Now try and follow me on this one, I was fat all over so in my mind people on the street just saw a big fat person. Now I feel like I stand out More because in my mind people on the street see oh look at her arms , they are huge or her thighs are huge or her whatever is huge. I feel like it is more of a dissection of my body in certain parts because I fall into an in between category. She is not a big fat person and she is not normal. I have probably confused you because I am confusing myself. Anyway so I think I stick out more now if you know what I mean. I know this is mostly in my mind. It has to be!! I don't exactly know what my point is but I just wanted to say it ( and please no one be offended by the "fat" word because that is not a bad word to me , its true ). I just hope at some point I will feel normal...
Anyway I wanted to post some progress pics but my ability to feel comfortable in front of the camera is only slowly coming around. Here are some I have. Oh yeah right numbers. See below

Banded 07/31 224
Port removal infection dram etc 07/31-10/2
10/23 196
11/13 189
12/28 179
1/27 174.6
2/16 169.2
03/23 164.8
04/08 162.8 ( new low )


  1. You're looking good and your progress is fantastic! I really think that fat people (I'm not offended by the word) generally pay more attention to things they can control like their hair or makeup so they're less critical of their actual body. As you lose the weight, you start actually looking at your body because you're not horrified at the idea and so you start seeing flaws. I think it's normal. It's just like those lifelong skinny people who are like "i hate my arms" and I'm always like "your arms?! your ARMS?!?! try this body on for size!" point is I think you ARE normal. I hope that makes sense.

  2. I love the blue dress! You look adorable.

  3. Too cool - I started at 226 and am look amazing!

  4. You are so cute! Excellent, steady losses.

    I know what you are talking about BTW about the dissected body parts. I am trying very hard to not say anything mean to myself anymore, no matter what. No thoughts like "oh look at my fat thighs." I am just sick of being mean to myself. But I do know just what you are saying.

    Thanks for posting this!

  5. Great job on the weight loss-- and yes 'slow losers' unite! It doesn't matter the speed with which we drop it--just that we drop it and LEAVE it behind-- hopefully for good this time!